If Only ...

After mum had finished chatting, I spoke briefly with Eddie on the phone. God, it felt so weird! There I was, twenty-two years old, speaking to my father for the first time in my life. My heart was thumping. I was sweating. I didn't know what to say and I burst into tears. But he laughed, he comforted me, he said it was OK for me to cry, and he even said that he felt like crying too. He was softly spoken, so very sweet, and I felt sad that mum had not married him instead of that bastard Johnny Jameson.